Not only have we failed to post since June, we failed to renew our annual payment with blogNation. So all of you thousands, nay millions, have been left bereft. We apologize to you and blogNation. But you ARE the blogNation. Oh, anyway.

The current post ...   more »

Pretty Girl:  Hey, Tom!  How are you?

Older Man:  Traci!  Hi…tired.  Really tired.

Pretty Girl:  Did you have to work today?

Older Man:  Work?  No.  Yoga.  I did so much yoga...   more »

Sometimes the world gives you exactly what you expect to find.  Seen whilst strolling down Rodeo Drive, Beverly Hills last night...


No doubt several (happy?  satisfied?) patients were passed during the perambulation.
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I know, I know, I know...


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I’ve oft said, and will continue to say, L.A. is a great place to live, but I wouldn’t want to visit. The City of Angels hides her charms well—public spaces, by and large, are unpleasant. But countless private, domestic spaces are unmatched. Exquisite. Right now, the jacaranda trees are blooming all over town. They are sublime.   more »

Take the name of a film, keep one or more of the principal actors, and then add the name of the celebrity who really should have been in the film, but was cruelly left out.  Now, re-write the tag line.  Lather, rinse, repeat....   more »

It has been well established by C.B. that my stately apartment home is not in Brentwood.  Not even in Baja-Brentwood.  True.  All too true.  Completely true.  But I never asserted otherwise.  All I’m saying is…Brentwood is nearby...   more »

Every profession, indeed every societal sub-stratum, employs its peculiar argot.  Sometimes this is celebrated—cf. Cockney Rhyming Slang—other times, the various code words are kept on the down low.  Hey, there’s an example right there.  Hollywood, a ...   more »

The admittedly fuzzy cell phone photo below was taken in the elevator of my apartment home.  For people whose eyes do not come with OEM focus/resolution correction, the notice reads:  “Should the elevator doors fail to open do not become alarmed. Please use button marked ‘Alarm’ or telephone (if furnished) to summon aid.”  ...   more »

I’ve been listening all day to the incomparable Judith Owen’s new album Mopping Up Karma due to be released in June. As with all of J’s work it’s personal, ironic, but for me most importantly, so catchy, so singable, so engaging, I found myself whistling a bit from one of the tracks as I walked through my soulless building’s soulless parking garage to pick up the laundry (my dry cleaning, however, has soul).   more »

As of yesterday, Iron Man, the latest superhero franchise wannabe (sequel in the planning stages with Robert Jr. and Gwynneth both reportedly open to a reprise of their roles), has raked in $207 million in a fairly even domestic/international split.  We haven’t ...   more »

“Morning, Gary. How’s it going?”
“Hey—it’s a Monday!”
“uh…okay.”

At a party some months ago, a stranger, who happens to work at the same (troubled) financial institution as me, noted that within our company the day of the week is frequently offered as a sole response to “how’s it going,” “how are you,” or even “good morning.”    more »

Gianni Alemanno, former paleo-fascist, or perhaps current neo-fascist, or more simply put, the new mayor of Rome, doesn’t like the American influence on Italian popular culture.  Or something.  At any rate, he’s uninviting all the Hollywood stars from this year’s super-semi-exclusive, practically world ...   more »

There’s been a lot of brouhaha about the Annie Liebovitz photo of child star, Miley Cyrus, aka, Hannah Montana, aka Destiny Hope Cyrus, aged approximately 15.   We have to admit, the photo hardly merits all the fuss.  In fact, I’d have to agree ...   more »

Europeans frequently accuse Americans of shallowness based on our use of the phrase “how are you doing?” or “how’s it going?” as informal greetings eliciting but one possible answer:  “fine.”  The foreigner will complain, after having delivered ...   more »

You’re probably thinking it’s everyday that Doktor Kino awakes to find strange ladies’ shoes in his apartment home.  (or ladies’ strange shoes, I suppose, for that matter).  Well, it’s not.  That is to say, he doesn’t.  Which is to ...   more »

There are two kinds of people in the world: those who divide the world into two kinds of people and those who do not. Further subsets are possible. For example, some people think that South Park is the best show that’s ever been on television—certainly ...   more »

I’ve often said that L.A. is great place to live, but I wouldn’t want to visit.  And I’m never wrong about these things.  Ever.  Furthermore, your merely accusing me of being wrong in no way makes me wrong.  There’s an ...   more »

Glenn Reynolds has a quick post about the value of his daughter’s learning to speak French rather than a more useful language like, say, Spanish.  This raises an interesting question about the value of one foreign language over another.  I respond to him ...   more »

Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip – HORRIBLE new show from the HORRIBLE Aaron Sorkin.  But that’s just my opinion.  Much contrasted with 30 Rock, the interesting new show from the mildly talented Tina Fey.  With some large problems of its ...   more »

We were recently at Tokio in Hollywood, which is unlikely enough, to be sure, but while there, we took in what could only be described as the comedy stylings on offer at the once-chic, now decidedly not, club-restaurant. Never forget the Los Angeles club maxim Numero Uno, “First it’s hot. Then it’s not. Then it’s Persian.”    more »

In The Queen, Helen Mirren portrays a fictionalized version of Anna Wintour, the legendary editrix of Vogue magazine.  Early reports cast the performance as critical of its subject.  This is simply wrong.  Mirren as Wintour, seen in the film hobnobbing with ...   more »

How charming that Madonna Louise Veronica Ciccone Penn-Ritchie has chosen to purchase a black boy in Malawi.  Wherever that is.  And don’t bother to tell us, because we don’t care where it is.  We will not be going there to purchase an orphan ...   more »

We live in a rules-based society.  Or, at least we should.  This is good when:  a) I make all the rules b) everyone (else) follows all the rules.  It’s basic common sense.  The problem arises when people transgress ...   more »

Marking the sad end of an entertainment institution, Great American, whatever that is, won the bidding Monday for the assets of Tower Records. Apparently, Great American is the Ross Dress for Less of the industrial landscape, and has purchased now defunct Tower’s inventory...   more »

The always-on-time Perez Hilton notes that Jamie Lee Curtis has quit acting. Acting like what? A woman? A man? Anyway, not a minute too soon.   more »

Several cruel comments popped into ones mind Wednesday after reading the headline, “George Lucas quits making movies.”  Well, yeah.  Old news.   more »

Prôjet Runway gets plenty of attention (with the French pronunciation, bien sûr) elsewhere.  I won’t belabor(u)r it here other than to say, casting, casting, casting. q.v.  We have been rather hooked this season, as have, apparently, a ...   more »

It’s been a terrible year for films.  Consequently we haven’t seen many.  Moreover we have a job these days, leaving less time for both films and writing about films.  Leaving many of you, no doubt, judging from the avalanche of cards and ...   more »

When DoubleL’s Hermes purse and MILLION DOLLAR jewelry were “STOLEN” at Heathrow in early September, the world collectively lurched forward in its seat.  Not only did the bag contain her MILLION DOLLAR jewelry collection, but her “vital asthma medication”...   more »